We
are all here just to disappear sooner or later.
Life is very precarious,
accidental, any moment anybody can go.
So
don't be worried about what happened, there is no why. All the answers that can
be given to your why will be nothing but consolations to somehow rationalise a
thing which is mysterious, but which by rationalising we hope to console ourselves.
I am not interested in consoling, because it is a dangerous game this consolation.
It keeps you hidden behind buffers.
The
truth is that the child was alive and is alive no more. This should make you understand
the dreamlike quality of life. Life is made of the stuff called dreams. We may
be seeing a beautiful dream but it can be broken by any small thing - just a noise
and the dream disappears. It may have been a sweet dream and one feels hurt and
one wants to close one's eyes and continue dreaming - but now nothing can be done.
Rather
than finding explanations and consolations, always look at the naked truth. It
is sad, it hurts, it is painful: see it, that it is so, but don't try to somehow
whitewash it. All explanations and all philosophies are nothing but efforts to
whitewash things which are not white, which are very dark and mysterious.
When
such moments come, they are of tremendous significance because in these moments,
awakening is possible. When your child dies, it is such a shock; you can awaken
in such a shock; rather than crying and wasting the opportunity. After a few days
the shock will be shock no more: time heals everything. After a few years you
will forget all about it. By the end of your life it may look as if you had seen
it in some movie or read about it in a novel. In time it would have faded and
faded so far away that only an echo..............catch hold of it right now. This
is the moment when it can help you to be alert, awake. Don't miss the opportunity;
all consolations are ways of missing opportunities.
Never
ask "why". Life is without any "why" and death is without
any "why". The "why" cannot be answered, need not be answered.
Life is not a problem that can be solved, neither is death. Life and death are
both parts of the mystery which knows no answer. The question mark is ultimate.
So all that can be done in such situations is that one should awaken, because
these shocks can become a breakthrough. Thinking stops, the shock is such that
the mind goes in a blur. Nothing seems to be meaningful, all seems to be lost.
One feels an utter stranger, outsider, uprooted. These are tremendously significant
moments; these are the moments when you enter into a new dimension. And death
is one of the greatest doors that open into the divine. When somebody so close
as a child is to a mother, dies, it is almost the death of yourself, as if you
had died, a part of you has died.
So
just see that life is a dream, that everything will disappear sooner or later,
dust into dust. Nothing abides here. We cannot make our home here. It is a caravanserai,
an overnight's stay and in the morning, we go. But there is one thing which is
constantly there and permanently there - that is your watching, your witnessing.
Everything else disappears, everything else comes and goes, only witnessing remains.
So
witness this whole thing. Just be a witness, don't become identified. Don't be
a mother, otherwise you are identified. Just be a witness, a silent watcher and
that watching will help you tremendously, that is the only key which opens the
doors of mysteries. Not that it solves anything, but it makes you capable to live
the mysterious, and to live it totally.
